fuckin really, whatever happened to quality awesome ass saturday morning cartoons? i was watching Smurfs and the Magic Flute last night and it got me thinking how fuckin lucky i am to have grown up when i did. all kids these days have are these super bright and flashy shit shows (except sponge bob, flap jack, samurai jack and a few others). i mean shit, i had fuckin TURBO TEEN. fuckin A' a kid that turns into a red hot rod, and does stuff, now that shit was cool. hell i remember basing my WHOLE week on saturday morning, and what i was gonna watch and not watch... i guess what i'm saying is, i REALLY miss good ol 80's saturday mornings with a bowl of nintendo cereal, my rad Star Wars blanket and cartoons up til that stupid show that tried to teach you lessons came on... then outside to play.
here's to you saturday morning cartoons, you are sorely missed.
PS still sober.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
i fuckin HATE monkeys... for real.
no lie, i want to kill them all...
ever since i watched Planet of the Apes starring the greatest human to ever walk this green earth, the one and only Charlton Heston, cute little monkeys just haven't been the same for me. every single time i see one on TV, or a zoo or anywhere else i just want to shoot it. i fuckin know they are plotting our demise, and they hide it behind cuteness, and little "eep eep's" and "oop opp's". fuckers KNOW what's going on, and we are too mesmerized by their "charm" to realize these little fuckers are going to enslave us one day very soon.
so here is my three part plan to rid ourselves of our future conquerors.
1) round up every single ape, every single kind, baby or adult
2) LOTS of gasoline, and other flammable liquids
3) marshmallows, and monkey meat for dinner.
so that's it. you guys can go on loving these cute little fuckers that will one day enslave every single one of us, but as for me i'm prepared for what will ultimately come. don't say i didn't warn you.
ever since i watched Planet of the Apes starring the greatest human to ever walk this green earth, the one and only Charlton Heston, cute little monkeys just haven't been the same for me. every single time i see one on TV, or a zoo or anywhere else i just want to shoot it. i fuckin know they are plotting our demise, and they hide it behind cuteness, and little "eep eep's" and "oop opp's". fuckers KNOW what's going on, and we are too mesmerized by their "charm" to realize these little fuckers are going to enslave us one day very soon.
so here is my three part plan to rid ourselves of our future conquerors.
1) round up every single ape, every single kind, baby or adult
2) LOTS of gasoline, and other flammable liquids
3) marshmallows, and monkey meat for dinner.
so that's it. you guys can go on loving these cute little fuckers that will one day enslave every single one of us, but as for me i'm prepared for what will ultimately come. don't say i didn't warn you.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Archie Bunker made me do it...
so as i sit here next to Rachel watching All in the Family, it got me thinking about things... life, love, Boba Fett... all sorts of shit.
so first off, i drank the day after i said i wouldn't drink... but have been sober since. why the fucking fuck is stopping drinking so hard? it fucking fucks shit up for me, it makes me something awful. i mean i'm a nice enough person but damn does it fuck me up, makes me well NOT me. so i got myself some self help like samurai books, and ma gonna be taking this soooo mega seriously.
all that being said i got myself a Boba Fett omnibus, Hitman by Garth Ennis so now it's time to sit back and reflect on things that are good, and not so good in my life... change is a coming.
so first off, i drank the day after i said i wouldn't drink... but have been sober since. why the fucking fuck is stopping drinking so hard? it fucking fucks shit up for me, it makes me something awful. i mean i'm a nice enough person but damn does it fuck me up, makes me well NOT me. so i got myself some self help like samurai books, and ma gonna be taking this soooo mega seriously.
all that being said i got myself a Boba Fett omnibus, Hitman by Garth Ennis so now it's time to sit back and reflect on things that are good, and not so good in my life... change is a coming.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
barfin in the boys room...
"you're killing yourself, i heard you puking last night" says Rachel... let me tell you something about me dear readers, i drink and when i drink, i drink alot. not like a 6 pack of Bud alot, i'm talking a whole bottle of 100 proof whiskey alot, and in one sitting. this has to stop.
right now i feel like total shit, so it's easy to do what many a drunk has done before me, "i'm quittin, i aint touchin da stuff no more, i'm on da wagon", so i'm not gonna say that. what i am gonna say is i'm making a deal with myself to better myself. this just can NOT go on anymore. i mean shit my girls mom died of drinking, and i saw that. it wasn't pretty, as a matter of fact it was quite horrifying. i can not let that be me.
... done for now, let's just call this day 1 of Joe's sobriety.
right now i feel like total shit, so it's easy to do what many a drunk has done before me, "i'm quittin, i aint touchin da stuff no more, i'm on da wagon", so i'm not gonna say that. what i am gonna say is i'm making a deal with myself to better myself. this just can NOT go on anymore. i mean shit my girls mom died of drinking, and i saw that. it wasn't pretty, as a matter of fact it was quite horrifying. i can not let that be me.
... done for now, let's just call this day 1 of Joe's sobriety.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
hmmm 2010 and 31 years of complete stupidness...
... and so i did it, i fuckin joined the "new age", the fuckin "space revolution", the whatever the hell you want to call it when some slightly overweight guy sits down and types words that he thinks others should read into some sort of lame ass blog format....
ok let me tell you folks a bit about myself for the first blog i guess. i'm 31' and i like TOYS, and not just like sex toys either, but you know Ninja Turtles, and Superman and whatnot's. i have a fairly big c*%$k (no i don't), but comic collection anyway. and i LOVE to bitch about shit, as you the reader will soon find out... and i mean anything, i'll fuckin bitch about it. i love video games, and bitching about video games. oh and i have rad sideburns. i feel i should just get that out there right now, i don't give a shit what you do in your life, my sideburns are better than your, it's fact....
anwho enough about me for now, and since this was a spur of the moment sort of thing to start this fucker, i shalt blog more on the morrow.
ok let me tell you folks a bit about myself for the first blog i guess. i'm 31' and i like TOYS, and not just like sex toys either, but you know Ninja Turtles, and Superman and whatnot's. i have a fairly big c*%$k (no i don't), but comic collection anyway. and i LOVE to bitch about shit, as you the reader will soon find out... and i mean anything, i'll fuckin bitch about it. i love video games, and bitching about video games. oh and i have rad sideburns. i feel i should just get that out there right now, i don't give a shit what you do in your life, my sideburns are better than your, it's fact....
anwho enough about me for now, and since this was a spur of the moment sort of thing to start this fucker, i shalt blog more on the morrow.
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